|
 |
|
|
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
ecrabb
Forum Moderator
Joined: 13 Mar 2006
Posts: 15909
Location: Utah
TV/Projector: JVC RS40, Epson 5010
|
 Link Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2015 3:14 pm Post subject: Resurgence Of Vinyl Is Secret IKEA Conspiracy |
 |
|
This is pretty funny.
SC
| Quote: | Resurgence Of Vinyl Is Secret IKEA Conspiracy To Sell Storage Units, Claims Former Employee
The recent resurgence in sales of vinyl is actually nothing more than a cynical clandestine ploy orchestrated by flat pack furniture giant IKEA to sell storage units, it has been revealed.
In the last two to three years sales of vinyl have peaked after being lauded as a niche format by moustachioed men in check shirts hunching over a set of Technics, causing many to require adequate storage space to house their vinyl collections.
However, some disgruntled former heads of marketing at the Swedish furniture firm have claimed that this renewed interest in vinyl appreciation is a clever marketing campaign by IKEA to sell furniture.
“All of the recent interest in vinyl by hipters the world over can be tracked back to agent provocateurs hired by IKEA to restore interest in vinyl and, importantly, units to store vinyl,” claimed one whistleblower who pointed to the iconic Expedit series of shelving units as well as the current Kallax series as huge sellers to vinyl collectors.
“IKEA typically will plant stories in hipster almanacs like Pitchfork and Vice in which the author will espouse at length about how vinyl sounds infinitely better than CDs or MP3s and how owning vinyl makes you into some kind of advanced cultural aesthete who can differentiate between slightly different sounding formats,” continued the whistle blower who chose to remain anonymous to avoid retribution from IKEA death squads.
“It’s like wine appreciation for people into music,” he added. “It became just another way to show how cultured and in the loop you are while IKEA pulled the strings on the whole thing to sell glorified cupboards that don’t even have doors.”
“This goes right to the top,” he continued, chainsmoking cigarettes clutched in a shaky hand, “they’re like the Mossad of mass produced flat pack furniture with hundreds of taste makers on their books who all act as promotional agents for vinyl and vinyl storage.”
Accounting inquiries reveal that substantial donations have been made by IKEA to vinyl only stages at festivals, vinyl record stores and vinyl only DJs like Ricardo Villalobos and Sven Vath.
“Sven Vath is a top agent in IKEA, we’re not sure if he even knows that he’s been recruited,” added the source. “That’s how they operate, a lot of their operatives won’t even know they’re doing IKEA’s dirty work by posting pics of their collections to their social media channels or talking about the difficulties of storing vinyl in interviews with the press.”
IKEA have responded by claiming that the allegations are nothing more than a smear campaign devised by the people who manufacture CD sleeves and car CD players to discredit vinyl.
http://wundergroundmusic.com/resurgence-of-vinyl-is-secret-ikea-conspiracy-to-sell-storage-units-claims-former-employee/ |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
winny
Joined: 09 Oct 2013
Posts: 403
Location: Sweden
TV/Projector: BD808s, BG1209/2
|
| Link Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2015 10:34 am Post subject: |
|
|
Hehe, I bought a IKEA EXPEDIT some time ago to store all my laserdiscs. The sales woman asked so I said it was for my vinyl collection since I didn't want to elaborate any further into the analouge technical aspects. Se said I was not the first. 
_________________
| Melifluonze wrote: | | Digital is easy. This is torture, but far more interesting... |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
draganm
Joined: 08 Mar 2006
Posts: 8990
Location: Colorado
|
| Link Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2017 10:29 pm Post subject: |
|
|
haha, funny. I bought a really nice storage case from Kmart or Target 15 years ago, 9 bins perfectly sized for vinyl. After 15 years the dam thing hasn't even sagged under all that weight, still looks good.
I think I paid maybe 100 bucks, pretty low return for such a complex conspiracy
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum
|
Forum powered by phpBB © phpBB Group
|
|
Forum FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Photo Albums
Register
Profile
Private Messages
Log in
